90 Days

Today marks 3 months since I hopped on a plane from NC to start my new life in Boston.  In honor of the occasion, I chopped 3 inches off my hair, ate a huge plate of pasta and drank a few glasses of sparkling red wine.  While a quiet celebration, it was perfection.

I love every ounce of this city.

I love how beautiful it is during the day and how it lights up ever so softly at night.

I love how when it’s 30 degrees outside, you see people bundled up in quilted jackets to people running in shorts.

I love that the people here are very kind in their core because through your naive questions about whatever, they see were once standing in your shoes.

I love the Boston dialect and the kind honesty behind it.

My grad school experience so far has tested every level of my being so far.  I have never felt so challenged to think and act more critically.

My favorite thing about grad school?  While there is plenty of support and help, there’s no “hand holding.”  My professors have given me tether to go out there and figure it out myself even if it means not being right all the time.

Revision opportunities are the best thing that can happen to you.  Simply, you can think of it as a second chance but I like to think of it as, “there’s more to explore here, so go do that.”

And that’s the thing, there is so much more to explore and I’m thrilled about all of that.  (like being asked if I’m considering getting my Ph.d)

I’m exhausted and excited to see my family and friends next week in NC.

But I’m proud of myself for making this decision back in June.  The decision to be a bit braver and see outside of myself about who I could become and what I could do.

I look forward to sharing more as things progress.

As is

6/20

The tentative grade I received on a very important analysis plan I turned in nearly two weeks ago.

I have received the grace jof rewriting it for a better grade.

Yea for grace.  But nay for the tears, frustration and disappointment that the email with that news brought.

Here’s a big, important lesson I’ve learned about grad school two months in….

You’re going to mess up.

You’re going to be sitting in your dry, perfect pink bathtub in the apartment you fought for, drowning yourself in those tears and maybe some vodka and writing this post because that’s where the best wifi hotspot is until Comcast shows up on Wednesday.

Yes, my wifi hotspot is in my bathtub…

Anyways, back to the effin up part.

This, as much as I hate it was supposed to happen.

I was supposed to be reminded in some way that grad school and making a move 1,000 miles away was effin hard.

To be frank, it’s hell.

I miss my friends, even though I’ve made some stellar new ones.

You know, the ones that bring you soup when they hear you aren’t well.

The ones that settle you in to your perfect apartment with their favorite camping chair and sleeping bag because your stuff won’t be there until Wednesday.

Because they want you to be comfortable, they want you to feel loved and safe.

And I do but it’s a little uncomfortable….

and it’s ok.